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Heartbroken - Need advice!

Last post 07-05-2004, 9:45 PM by TID-Ken. 1 replies.
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  •  07-03-2004, 4:35 PM 20

    Heartbroken - Need advice!

    Your advice on 1st e-mails, 1st dates, and long distance relationships were super. Everything you said was true.

    I'd like to share my recent experience w/ you.  I belonged to Match.com over a year ago and met a fabulous lady through the site, corresponded w/ her, talked on the phone many times and finally met w/ her, had dinner, wonderful conversation, and then had several dates.  Each date indicated the relationship was progresssing in serious directions.  We lived 3 hrs away from each other, but that didn't seem an obstacle. 

    I'm 64 and a widower; she's 55 and a widow.  We'd both had serious relationships after the death of our spouses that didn't work out.  After several months of very pleasureable dates, necking, etc. we finally advanced to becoming sexually intimate.  And I thought things went superbly the first and second (last) time we had sex.  I thought she felt the same way.We had many very open, frank, talks re our emotions, likes/dislikes, sex, religion, politics, you name it.  However, one afternoon I went home and there was a "dear john" letter in my e-mail, and a phone message.  Very generic.  "I've been doing a lot of thinking...."

    No reason for the breakup.  Just totally blindsided me.  I sent her an email; saying she at least owed me a reason, the truth.  Not a word in reply.  So I'm heartbroke, angry, and frustrated.  Advice?

    Thanks for your site!! 

    Joe H.
    • Post Points: 20
  •  07-05-2004, 9:45 PM 59 in reply to 20

    Re: Heartbroken - Need advice!

    Hey Joe,

    I think you really need Barbie's point of view on this, as Woman are still very confusing to me.

    I do think, as hard as it is to accept, that it might not have been you.  There are a lot of other forces involved when starting over at 55.  The fact the relationship was going so well could have just shook her. 

    I don't have to tell you, it's difficult starting over.  Not only are you set in your ways, with your own routines and traditions, your kids are also set in their ways.  This can all be very overwhelming when a relationship begins to heat up.

    My advice to you, stand-up, brush yourself off, thank God for the time you shared and find another date, today!

    Good luck!
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